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Race Results

Halloween 5K to End Cervical Cancer

Glen Freyer  19:58, Montclair, NJ

How did I manage to win the 2011 5K to End Cervical Cancer? First let me say, I have not won a race since fourth grade when I beat Jeff Caputo in the 220 and he was, shall we say, big boned. Likewise, my victory yesterday involved a similar perfect storm of events. First, there was an actual storm. It was a miserable Saturday morning with wet, sloppy snow and a decent headwind that kept many away. Second, no one I knew was running. Can’t emphasize this enough. It’s not on anyone’s calendar because they’re all running marathons and the 5K isn’t even an official 3.1 miles. It’s technically only 3.08, making it even more inconsequential.

The surge of adrenaline I felt shaking off an intimidating 10-year-old in a witch’s costume in the first 4 seconds cannot be underestimated as I led the rest of the way. The thrilling thought of, “Oh, man, I’m actually winning a race!” was tempered immediately by the thought, “I’m the only idiot who thinks this is a race.” Indeed, the stats speak for themselves: In an event capped at 300, only 189 finished. Of those maybe half were WALKING OR IN COSTUME! There were 47 men running total.

I did have one guy on my tail till about the halfway mark, but I sped up and crushed his spirit – the one thing of which I’m truly proud. As I raced back against the crowd on the return leg, most people seemed to be wondering, “Why is he in such a hurry?” My prevailing thought was, Don’t Trip. Honestly, the only thing more embarrassing than winning the race at that point would be NOT winning the race at that point.

Like the old adage, I don’t want to be the member of any club that would have me as a member, I don’t want to win any race where I’m the fastest guy there. I finished in 19:58, well off my PR, but good enough for a handsome medal and gift certificate to Fleet Feet. I’ll keep the gift card, but I’m returning the prize money. Taking money for a non-race when other people came out to RAISE money to fight cancer just seems weak.

As for my victory acceptance speech, let me just thank you, my fellow runners. Your complete lack of participation is what made this moment possible. Also, I believe my performance qualifies me for another ERC award this year. To my knowledge, this is the fastest ERC performance in a 3.08 mile race ALL YEAR. Please spell my name correctly when you engrave the plaque.

Finally, a note that I ran this race because Doug had told me he ran it in the past and had a chance of winning last year until Glenn Trimboli showed up and took “the glory,” such as it is. There were easily a half-dozen times I pressed on in the cold and thought, “Come on, Doug.” He remains a great racing companion and motivator even in spirit. Whether he’d have cheered or laughed at my victory I can’t say, but I suspect a bit of both.

So that was my moment in the sun (except it was snowing). The race was a total farce, absolutely ridiculous and I can’t wait to run it again next year. Hopefully none of you will show up and there’ll be a hurricane!   – Glen Freyer

Photo Highlights

Photos on flickr

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